July 18-August 4 (Cirque of the Unclimbables)

I know Wes & Quinn will post about our Cirque experience, too. Theirs was a much more successful venture & it will be very intetesting reading.
Summary: I got my ass handed to me. Thoroughly. Read on for the gorey details.
July 18:
Up late, then into Watson Lake proper for 3 1/2 hours of gear sort & packing with Wes, Quinn, & Giovanni. Packs are SO heavy ... Very likely this'll require 2 days/trips. We stopped to jump in a lake on the gravel road drive, arriving at Finlayson Lake's float plane base around 430. Stretched on the dock then wandered up to the cabin, assuming Warren'd find us when he was ready. Started dinner & tried futiley to repair my pad with Hotbond & super glue - Dangit, Nonni! Still gonna haul it in since it's way better deflated than just the yoga pad is to sleep on. Warren showed briefly but said he'd be back at 930 after making a call back at his lodge, since we'd just started making dinner. After we finished eating, the Johnson family pulled in to occupy the cabin, preparing for a long canoe trip with lots of remote hiking. Dad had broken his leg so was just gonna paddle. Cool! We waited on the dock, pestered to distraction by mosquitos, throwing & skipping rocks, watching the long sunset. The float plane ride was the bomb. He banked so we could see 2 female moose wading &, later, a large bull swimming. Immense forest, hills, ridges, mountains, tundra, marshes, ponds, streams, rivers, & lakes. Inconnu Lodge is the bomb. Beautiful, rustic, stocked with food, & Warren, his wife, Anita, & super-strong 15-year-old son, Shawn, are super nice, generous, & friendly. After beers with Warren in the lodge proper, I went back to the mess hall for 2nd dinner at midnight - a giant plate of vegetable curry over rice, Naniamo bars, cookies, & cheesecake - while chatting with Anita about politics, the Yukon, & kids. Night, night.
July 19:
Met Bernie, a 30-year-old climber/skier, cooking me breakfast & who'd spent time in Squamish. Big, strong kid working as a cat ski dude 4 months a year & cooking ocassional summers somewhere remote & scenic, like this great gig here at Inconnu. Gio was up early but inexplicably late, even though Warren was 1 hour later than the 9am start we were told to be ready for. Super cool flight in from the co-pilot seat. Wonderful, rough, wild country, undiminished by the rain & clouds. Landing on Glacier Lake - whitish blue with glacial sediment - was smooth & somewhat surreal. Warren was nice to point out our route past Harrison-Smith Buttress, the scree looking steep but short. Wrong. After final-final sort & pack in a lakeside cabin, I thought the total pack weight was tolerable & decided to go in one push instead of two. Gio roared ahead with one pack, leaving the 2nd for retrieval tomorrow. Wes, Quinn, & I immediately lost the faint trail & wallowed on the fringe of - & often in - a huge beaver pond & marsh. Quinn tumbled in once but was quickly out with nothing soaked except her legs & hip. We found distinct trail perhaps 1 hour after losing it, yet I fell going through the rocky, rooty, wet, treefallen mess so many times I lost count. Sometimes able to right my ownself, other times unclipping then grunting the pack to a potential loading position (for I could not lift it with my arms onto my back), & sometimes, when lucky, had Wes or Quinn in a position to help - all while absolutely swarmed by mosquitos. Each of us had sprayed before we'd left the cabin but soon went through the laborious task of unhitching Wes's overloaded pack to get our individual spray bottles out so that we could each re-spray as often as possible (I used nearly an entire small bottle through the remainder of the day). A neat log crossing with a long handline over the roaring river then we started up the scree. At first, I was impressed with how well I was doing under an immense load but about 2/3 of the way up I was no longer strong enough to maintain either my balance or my judgment, abondoning clothes & climbing gear in the tarp stashed under an overhanging rock. Wes was conveniently nearby when I devised the scheme & he helpfully unloaded my gear & stashed it while sorting for climbing gear he might want for tomorrow. I constructed a cairn with one hiking pole as a marker, also turning to memorize a large detached, tan pillar on Harrison-Smith. I surged ahead of Wes & Quinn confident now I'd make it - though barely - without (s)tumbling to my death. I dropped the pack as I wandered into lower Fairy Meadows, unable to find Gio or the Korean party. I went down to Wes & Quinn, somewhat revived by walking briefly unloaded, & took her light 2nd pack & 1 of his ropes. After finishing the bouldery creek climb, I strapped the loads pilfered from W&Q to my pack & pushed on, soon finding a trail, at the top of which was Gio & a magnificent boulder overhang. Perfect for 2 tents, with a cooking area, food boxes, & stone seating & cooking surfaces. Gio had made it in just over 6 hours, I in about 8, & Q&W in 8 1/2. I unpacked food & stove & began making dinner immediately as we were all wet, tired, cold, & hungry. A strong breeze blew ocassionally & I wanted to have hot food & get into my bag. Gio put up our tent. Wes & Quinn sorted & stored food, gear, hung wet clothes, organized, & put up my Kelty for their use. Rice & Tasty Bites in big bowls, everyone happy, though, inexplicably, Gio was last to dinner. Haha! It's so Gio & I dig it. The dude's nice, interesting, generous - though he works as a geologist for oil research! - & late everywhere! Haha! Quinn lent me her leg warmers for my feet, I hung my wet raingear, socks, & boots, & I got into the bag. Gio came in, we talked, & planned tomorrow's retrieval of the remainder of our gear: he'd be at the bottom of the scree field with his 2nd pack & a walkie-talkie 5-6 hours after leaving, I'd be at the top with binoculaurs, then meet him near my stashed gear where I'd take some of his load (since I'd be more rested), & we'd finish together. It's serious team bonding that I'm eager to do so that this is the experience of a lifetime from every perspective. Nothing wrong with putting in some effort to make not just a great rope partner but a great new friend - who lives in Columbia, which I'd love to visit someday! I fell asleep before he was done talking ... bummer, but too tired to keep my eyes open. Legs leaden but I thankfully do not cramp. Pad deflates within minutes but it doesn't matter ... I'm in the Cirque of the Unclimbables! Wow!
July 20:
Gio was up earliest, yet inexplicably didn't leave for his gear til 2pm - 4 hours after getting up! Haha! I slept in. Up around noon for breakfast where Q reminded me that we each got only 1 oatmeal packet. It was OK this once since she'd put an extra one in mine as a treat. After a little time firing rocks at bold, pesky pikas & marmots, I got back into bed til W told me it was near 7pm - time to go get my stuff & help Gio. Wes offers to come along, also looking for team bonding & generally just a great dude, but after clearing up a potential radio channel interference with the Koreans, he gets ahold of Gio & finds out that he's decided to stay the night at the cabin below. I go on down to my gear, load the empty pack with the stash - which is not heavy, thank goodness - & make it back in 1 1/2 hours, where Q&W have made dinner. I put on warm dry clothes & string up wet stuff while Wes unpacks & hangs my climbing gear - these guys are awesome roommates in the remote outdoors, too! Warm food, kit-kat bar, sleep some more ... & with Gio gone, I use his inflated mattress atop mine & sleep on a princess bed. Oh, glorious sleep. Muscles twitch with tiredness still. Without Gio here tomorrow, I will not climb even if the weather is good. This is good since I need more rest. I realize that this immense fatique means I'm only marginally capable of this whole biking/remote alpine climbing adventure combo so I'm thrilled to not have waited too late in life to give it a go. Excited to be here!
July 21:
W&Q were up when I got up, gearing up for an FFA attempt on the formation right of LFT. Oatmeal & water for breakfast, then a go at super glue-ing the water filter nozzle back on (broken yesterday in its 1st use), which may have worked. Meditated. Watched through binocaulars a Korean hand drilling an anchor on a big boulder near their camp. GORP & jerky lunch before tramping down to help Gio. I waited near where I stashed my gear, reluctant to go all the way down for fear of missing him in the giant scree field - calling loudly & into the walkie-talkie frequently. The view of Glacier Lake, river, creeks, & wildness all around were more than enough company for me as I rested - swatting mosquitos for sport. Eventually he called on his radio to tell me he was at the base of the scree eating & would come up the creekside of the scree, so I slowly wandered that way. He called again to say he had to make it toward the toe of the buttress instead & about 20 minutes later we found each other. I took 1/2 his gear & we started back up. I'd found a decent traversing path with minimal scree uphill around & through the uppermost part of the alder patch, then up the creek to the cairned trail to camp. He said he'd made the entire trip in just 4 1/2 hours & though he'd suffered at the cabin last night with the cold, he was in bouyant spirits - feeling strong & grateful for the help & comraderie. I stashed his food, strung up wet shoes, socks, & shirt, then stretched while he fussed & ate. Cold, I climbed into the tent for a long nap, dreaming of Rae. Around 730 it rains for an hour so, worried, Gio & I walk to the upper meadow with binoculaurs to look for W&Q on the rock, though within an hour they walk right up to us & remind us rescue can wait 1 full day. They were thankful for our worry, nonetheless. I hope the weather clears, though if it holds off raining like it has today then Gio & I may have a go at the 1st few pitches of LFT tomorrow. I am already struggling mentally & physically with the drastic shift in food availability & consumption. My metabolism is still firing away from the last 2 intense weeks of harsh weather & long riding days. I'm not recovering well.
July 22:
It looked sunny on the tarp outside when I finally rolled out of the tent, relishing what I hope is the final rest day. It is cold & damp, with cloudy mists swirling up the Meadows from the river below. 1 oatmeal, a weak hot cocoa, & water. Lots of water today to help me feel fuller. Water filter repair appears to have been successful! Q&W head out to climb on sport routes near camp, encouraging me to join them. After meditating & drying wet stuff as the sun came out (!), I did & climbed well. Wes had a go at the Penguin (hard 12?), yarding on gear on what was a ridiculously shallow, thin tips corner crack leaning back a bit, followed by a frightening barndoor sharp arete. Q, with her smaller fingers & superb strength & technique, followed the corner with only 2 takes & lead 1/2 way up the penguin's "bill" arete before tuckering out. I ran back to camp as Gio got on it (his 1st route of the day) because it sprinkled & too many critical things were outside to dry - including sleeping bags. Once in camp, I stretched. The others returned in the bright sunshine bathing Fairy Meadows. Peaks drying & blue sky on the weather horizon have us immediately making plans & preparing for LFT early tomorrow. We all suspect the Koreans will be seiging the wall tomorrow, as well, since they have already fixed ropes the 10 pitches to the bivy ledge. Gio & I will leave at 5am, W&Q around 7am. I am thoroughly stoked at the serious potential for making a 11 year dream come true. Lotus Flower Tower! OMG!
July 23:
Gio set the alarm for 3:45 & the sky was brilliantly clear with a 1/2 moon hanging above the eastern ridgeline. 2 packets of oatmeal, cocoa, & water - inexplicably, Gio was ready when I was! Haha! W&Q left camp before us & were quickly well ahead. By 6:30 we'd all made it to the base of LFT, which had a sunny cap & just 20 ft of snowfield to cross under the route. Windless. Perfect day. Q led off, struggling slightly with the still wet cracks. I led the 1st 5.8 pitch after Wes left the ground (intent on not losing them early in the day) & it felt bold & alpine & slightly harder than I anticipated. Wes led pitch 2 & 3 as they were sopping wet under a leaky corner, water still coarsing down, the walls & cracks black & slick - remarkably he fell only once on pitch 3. Q struggled to follow. Gio chose to jug pitches 2 & 3 using the Korean's fixed lines, but I intended to climb as 2nd in both. Only part way up pitch 2 & I was flailing badly, unable to clear a very wet, slightly off-width section, eventually choosing to jug the line. However, since the 6 Koreans had arrived as I sat at the 1st belay & began their fixed rope ascent, I was relegated to an older line & found my prussic didn't work nearly as well on the slightly algae-d rope. It took a lot of time & energy to laboriously push the ascender, sit, unload the prussic, move it, stand, ... lather, rinse, repeat. I arrived at the top of pitch 3 nearly 3 1/2 hours after leaving the ground, sopping wet & worked. Unfortunately, Gio's attitude was already flagging so I took the lead on pitch 4 but was stymied by the lack of pro & damp rock not even 20 ft up. After discussing it with Gio but unable to communicate with the Koreans nearby, I eventually chose to clip my ascender to their fixed line as protection & free climb until I could get a piece in. Gio was unwilling to lead pitch 5 so I took the rack again, intent on reaching the summit no matter how long it took. I was also anticipating that we would simul-climb the easier 5.7 chimney pitches to the top of pitch 10, allowing us to recover somewhat. Gio led pitch 6 with an agreement to go past the belay for the simul-climb if he found the climbing sufficiently easy. It wasn't. This pitch & the remaining chimney pitches were remarkably awkward, insecure, & taxing. I took the rack after Gio's lead & strung together 2 hard pitches, or so I thought. Gio lead a pitch & then I strung 2 more, thinking we'd be at the top of pitch 10 & the famous "bivy ledge" where the Koreans had set up camp. But I didn't have enough rope to finish to the ledge, so Gio led a short, hard 5.8 to get us there. We ate, drank, talked to W&Q on the radios, & rested, then I took the rack for an intimidatingly steep 5.9+ finger locks corner. Still wet, the crack's locks weren't "locker" but my gear was frequent & thankfully solid as I took 1 fall & 1 take. The topo suggested pushing this pitch higher to "The Edge" but I was worried when I hit the original belay position that I had so little gear left & the last 25 ft looked hard. But the last corner pinched in & I used back scums to move confidently. Unfortunately, now I was completely worked. That pitch felt like 5.10c & the next pitch was also rated 5.9+. I had developed abdominal cramps from the initial jugging. The middle & ring fingers on my left hand were locking straight frequently, making it much harder to grasp features. Weariness pervaded my entire being. Gio arrived at the bekay, having pulled on gear to clean the pitch, then let me know he couldn't lead due to intense neck cramps. We looked up longingly at the Xenolith Headwall, reluctant to give up on the summit but realizing that 8 more of this route's 5.8 & 5.9+ pitches weren't likely & perhaps unsafe in our condition. We talked about it, reluctantly deciding we really were cooked. Now we were reconciling ourselves to being here on the LFT if not the summit, trying to be happy with the journey, adventure, scenery, & our effort. W&Q had just started the 5.11 roof pitch (16), climbing fast & clean - indefatigible. The Korean leader, Han, arrived at our belay, sweaty & pumped, but English-speaking. Over a decade ago he'd been in the Bugaboos, Cerro del Torro, Makalu, Salathe ... an accomplished climbing resume. Another Korean arrived, lit the ever-present cigarette (handing Gio one, too, as they'd done at the bivy ledge without a word exchanged), & another cluster of ropes & people ensued so I tried to rappel back to the bivy ledge with the Korean leader off to fix pitch 12 & another Korean attempting the pitch below - both belayed by the smoker on top of 11. Gio finally escaped the cluster & we prepared to descend, then decided to wait til we saw W&Q summit. I saw Wes lead the crux 5.11 roof clean, then Quinn followed it clean & continued up the headwall. When they finally disappeared over the top we congratulated them over the radio & got on our rappel, thinking they'd catch us by the base since they had 2 ropes. The route beta suggested a 60m rope was sufficient for the descent off the right of the bivy ledge (avoiding the bad rope pulls required if descending the chimney pitches) but I was unable to reach the next anchor! So I swung back into the chimney, having to untie for the final unprotected scramble to the slings at the top of pitch 9. Gio pulled the rope & tossed it back down to me & I slowly, wearily reclimbed pitch 10. When W&Q arrived 1 1/2 hours later, we agreed that Gio & I would rappel on our single 60m line fixed to the anchors, fix the far end again, then W&Q would undo & toss the now-freed end past us before rappelling on their 60m doubles. It became a minor cluster when Gio went into the chimney instead of staying on the rappel line, forcing Wes or Quinn to then go retrieve our stuck rope twice. Finally down, we packed up & started the hike to camp. Within 1/2 an hour, headlamps were on - meaning it was midnight - & not soon after I began to seriously flag. We couldn't keep the faint trail through the boulder fields but whenever Gio & I stopped to reconnoiter, I would sit & nearly fall asleep. I had to keep moving or I would succumb to the pervading fatigue, so I began a continuous stumble simply pointed in the general direction of camp that got me there 1st. I immediately dropped the pack & the incredibly uncomfortable gear-laden harness before getting water & starting dinner. Quinn, Wes, & Gio arrived within 15 minutes or so, weary but glad to be done. Faultily remembering our food surplus, I made 50% more rice than our daily ration, which worried Quinn. Into bed at 230am. Exhausted, twitching & cramping, I struggled to fall asleep - the weight of failure heavy in my bones, joints, & muscles.
July 24:
Awoke very late to sunshine, into which W&Q had moved their bags for 2nd sleep. Heavy with disappointment still, I made oatmeal & cocoa, then cleaned my smelly-ass shoes & socks, re-bandaged my scrotum wound, & unwound in the sun. Body still racked, twitching, & weak, I got back into the tent & bag for 2nd sleep when the sun disappeared & the wind picked up. Around 4, Gio finally clambered out of the tent for the 1st time & I followed. Wes was still in bed, suffering from a cold, but Quinn was up & about so we sat in the sun, chatting comfortably. I apologized for the excessive rations last night & tried to assure her that, just because she organized the food (she & I planning it together months ago in my kitchen), it wasn't her fault that Wes, Gio, & I were hungry. She'd walked to an abandoned camp during the day & found a Trivial Pursuit game that we all decided to play. During a lull in the game in which Quinn wandered off to pee, Wes mentioned that Quinn was worried about our rations since the boys were so hungry, so we decided to evaluate our supply. Us boys were in a panic til Quinn returned & patiently reorganized things, which showed us we had dinners for each remaining night if we ate the extra pancake mix one night. Yea! But then we started talking about how these rations weren't really working, especially for Wes or, if I somehow manage to rally for another LFT attempt, me. Quinn was upset, beginning to cry, & I tried lamely to comfort her with an awkward hug. We discussed shortening the trip by a few days but finally agreed that if you chose to eat double to get through something, you'd go on 1/2 rations for the rest days afterward. Throughout the tense food discussion, Wes & Gio patiently worked on me until they convinced me that a 2nd LFT attempt was worth the effort. Instead of free-climbing in one continuous push, we'd jug the 3 opening pitches & climb to the bivy with the leader carrying a small pack & the 2nd carrying a bigger pack, rest overnight, & finish the 2nd day. Pestered relentlessly by mosquitos, we crawled into Gio's tent to finish our game (Gio & I both too high to really play but we all had fun); finally going to bed around midnight.
July 25:
Still twitching throughout the night, though I had no severe cramps. But a new malady appeared: hand numbness, especially the left hand. So I slept poorly & felt weak, tight, & fatigued when I finally crawled out of the tent into bright sunshine. 2 servings of oatmeal this morning (somehow I have extra ... I suspect from Quinn, the worried sweetie), cocoa, lots of water, then a small pity party that Wes tried to get me past - 1st with a "not a winner's attitude" pep talk, then with a "be smart, rest, & do what's right for you" reconciliation - before he & Quinn left for an FFA attempt on Bussel Tower (exciting! Thouugh they end up doing 3 pitches in Terrace Tower instead). Gio also seems to have recovered: his neck & shoulder just minor complaints & generally feeling energetic. I get back into the bag for more rest. Weary. Wary. Bummed that my body & spirit are flagging. Gio works on me some more in early evening & I agree we should try tomorrow if the weather looks good, & that we could start as late as 10 from camp & still comfortably make the bivy ledge by the time it starts getting cold at 7. We go through our climbing plan & packing list again. I am more bouyant after the decision & a nice (though skimpy) dinner with good friends. We always boil water to put into the remains of the Tasty Bite packages for soup, which Giovanni excellently spices & we dub "Estonian Tea", & add bits of peanut butter or honey to our dessert. I go to sleep optimistic & energized.
July 26:
I have 2 oatmeal packets & cocoa before finishing preparations for our 2nd attempt: lubing 3 stuck cams with olive oil, filtering water into Quinn's Camelbak & Wes's Platypus for our use, sewing a glove, & finalizing our pack contents. Gio doesn't like the looks of the gathering clouds, though, so we don't leave. James, a tough 46 year-old physical therapist from Urbana, IL, (UI) & Julien, a post-doc at UI from Grenoble, come over offering good company & bouldering for awhile. The Koreans return from scoping the ice cave under Club International, their next planned route - friendlier each time we see them. It sprinkles around 7, scaring the 2 bold 30 year-olds also with U of Illinois connections who are just below the LFT crux roof only 4 pitches from the summit into retreat - visible through binoculaurs. We eat yummy stuffing, tuna, & Tasty Bite then crawl into Gio's tent for another round of Trivial Pursuit, at the end of which a downpour gets underway - I'm very glad we're not on LFT's bivy ledge but worried as there's now no climbing tomorrow & the route's cracks will be wet for days ... Gio is nearly out of lunches with only 3 of the next 8 days covered. We discuss buying food from the Koreans, who have bags of rice, crates of oranges, & coolers of beer. The option of leaving early to accommodate Gio's mismanagement was brought up by him but quashed by me - I'll skimp, too, if needs be, so we get another shot at LFT. Trivial Pursuit in our tent again is fun & funny.
July 27:
Rain all day, heavy at times but mainly a steady drizzle, which brings the nearby creek back to the level it was when we 1st came. I meditate before a breakfast of 1 oatmeal & weak cocoa (we're nearly out of that & the group peanut butter). Then back into the tent for rest, achey & stiff because my pad deflation is worse & the tarp under it & my hips isn't enough to keep a battered, withered body comfortable. I fold the pad double & put the tarp & my backpack under my feet ... better. Gio goes for a walk & I borrow his book again (The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo), enthralled by this excellent murder mystery with well-developed characters, until a call for dinner of tuna & Tasty Bite soup & 6 yummy 3-bite pancakes. We discuss food options again as all the boys are weak & wasting away: barter with Koreans, call Warren to see if he's bringing anyone in in the next few days & ask for either more food or an early trip out for Gio & I, cutting 2 days off the remaining 7 ... options that we'll act on tomorrow at the Korean's camp, which has food & the satellite phone. Our diet: 1 oatmeal packet for breakfast, 1/2 cupof GORP & 2 small jerky sticks for lunch, 1/2 cup instant rice or 1 ramen packet with 1/2 of a foil packet of Tasty Bite or tuna for dinner, & a candy or granola bar for dessert. Too little to keep me functioning & not enough to recover from any signifucant effort. Trivial Pursuit again in our tent is fun, as usual.
July 28:
It actually gets dark now at some point in the night - the change from the constant illumination through Gio's yellow tent fabric was drastic enough to wake me. Hips very sore, as the pad doubling wasn't as effective as I need it to be. This could turn into as much trouble as the skimpy diet for me as I feel like I at least need good rest for another LFT attempt, though it's really socked in & drizzling still late this morning. Gio & I agree that it needs to stop raining tomorrow or we're not gonna make a 2nd attempt. We need 2 days of decent weather minimum to dry enough of the route, we need 2 days to climb & descend, & 1 day to recover before the hike out on August 3: 6 days of the 7 remaining. It's quite cold, too, so we all hunker in the tents til nearly noon (except Gio, who lies in until 2 or so). That's when Wes returned from a trip to the Korean's camp. He'd left with $10 & a bolt + hangar & came back with that stuff ... & about 10 cups of rice & 2/3 of a jar of peanut butter & 5 dehydrated dinners & 2 lbs of sausage sticks! Saved! We cook rice immediately then add sausages for a filling, hot lunch ... mmmm. All returned to the tents, as it was raining & cold, feeling considerably better. In a brief lull, W&Q called me out to see blue sky. Eventually I wandered to James & Julien's camp with my mattress since James'd suggested he had repair stuff. He did but it wasn't gonna work with my series of little holes near the seam ... ah, well. They made tea then I made the mistake of burning my entire mouth with it when I opened the top on my water bottle too soon. In a brief lull in the drizzle, I ran back to camp - having to use another crossing 50 m up as ours is now submerged by the roaring creek. It continues to intermittently clear when Han, the Korean team leader, drops by. We all thank him again for his generosity but he demurs, "Climbers are friends of one community." Then proceeds to tell an awesome adventure of climbing/hitch-hiking his way from Alaska to Mexico over many months with a 90 kg (200 lb) pack - knowing no English - about 10 years ago, during which he gave himself the name Han Solo because he was doing everything solo. A gruesome, disheartening story of the Himilayan death of a female Korean legend & related inter-team intrigue followed. Dinner tonight was Ramen-Salmon + a dehydrated Korean dinner - yummy! PB on granola bar for dessert. Gio stays outside longer than I, apparently tolerant of the cold. Before I submit to the warmth of my bag, we talk optimistically about the weather, tweak our plan (J&J may be planning to fix pitch 1 - maybe tomorrow - & W&Q want to keep their jumars), & share some great sentiments about being here in the Cirque (which is breathtakingly beautiful, even in the small slices you're often left with), having a really good, new friend with which to spend time, & encouraging each other about our improving chances. We spend part of the afternoon talking about Columbia's torturous battles between government, private armies of land owners, & the FARC - all of which became intensely personal for his folks when their business was attacked in an unsettled region. He's been in the FARC-controlled mountain regions many times for mountaineering & geological sampling but because he's a former student at left-leaning university he's been accepted by the peasant-guerillas & fan travel safely. Fascinating. We needed the food & weather situations to improve & we got both. Optimistic.
July 29:
Up late to a little sunshine that soon changes to a light drizzle, but the clouds look the same as the day before the previous 3-day good weather window (misty, broken clouds roar up from the valley below - it's beautiful & fun to watch) so we stay positive. Oatmeal ... No cocoa but some weak coffee from Gio (breakfast food is skimpy, so I tend to sleep in). Meditate. The sun breaks through, though it stays cold. Drizzle returns intermittently throughout mid-afternoon. Lunch of Korean rice & sausage is not filling but quite good & still satisfying. Gio's restless so we decide to hike to the ice cave in the Proboscis Glacier. W&Q are keen to see it, too, but have plans to fix 200-400m of rope on a FA line they've spied on Middle Huey Spire so we all hump gear up the steep slope into a stunning, hidden 2nd cirque between Proboscis & LFT! Huey's steep southern face has several stout aid & mixed lines through a cavernous, complex roof system (though their FA line is to to the right of the roofs, under & along an aesthetic zig-zag overhang) so the main wall is nearly dry. Wes grunts up the wet, mossy lower terraces, cleaning cracks with the hammer's pointed end, banging in pitons with the other, all while laden with a huge rack of gear. After 1-1/2 hours, he's put up 50m of 5.9 A3 &, though eager for more, descends. We walk down the steep, loose slope to the morraine, then along it to a grey morraine lake below the glacier's snout. The ice cave is colossal, easily 15m tall, rippled interior surfaces, & goes back a long distance - all this reported by the trio, as I elected not to hike the last 30 minutes to get inside. I'm not sure I can describe the difference between tired & low on energy, but I'm the latter. Having carried the lightest load today, I felt decent: good strength, fitness, balance, etc. but know that another LFT attempt will require all remaining energy, especially given the little food remaining. The Korean gift has kept me upright but has in no way restored energy, just arrested the depletion. Fantastic views down to MacKenzie & Glacier Lakes, spotted with sunbeams. Proboscis is steep & glowering with low clouds when I turn for another look, then another ... The scenery here is so wild, forbidding, & beautiful, & the scale is immense - nothing as close as it seems when you strike out into it. Couscous & Tasty Bite dinner, then a walk to see James & Julien, & to meet Kevin (Seattle) & Andy (LA, though a heavy Polish accent belies his roots - & he's very quiet). Everyone is intimidated & cowed by the weather. Today, they'd managed to set up an elaborate tarp system to improve their leaky cave roof & to fix pitch 1 of LFT with some harvested marmot-chewed rope. The young guns may retrieve another rope from the cabin & fix pitches 4 & 5 tomorrow or just on their way up in (hopefully) 2 days. Gio optimistically intends to carry our climbing gear & stash it at the base tomorrow, as well. I will rest. Comfortably ensconced in my bag, Gio lulls me to sleep with extraordinary descriptions of the geological processes that form not only the Cirque's granite spires but also why these areas are of such great interest to the extraction industries. Visions of flowing magma seep into my dreams.
July 30:
Trouble sleeping - really, really missing Rae's company ... The clouds do not look promising when I awake. W&Q left early for their FA attempt, which will be a long, long day as they anticipate 7-8 more pitches like the 1st, to which they must add the time for the 2nd to jug each pitch, hand-drilling bolts, & descending. Tough to interpret today's weather: cloudy, spit, cold. Gio insists it rained on LFT but I disagree - unwaveringly hopeful I will get another shot. James comes over to chat more & divulge he trained as a power lifter. He & I quite similar in many ways but as different in others. Nice dude, for sure. Gio jumped in the creek in a brief moment of sun - he's much thinner than last week. Cold so into the tent for a nap for me, saving energy for the next 2 days of effort. LFT beckons me to its summit & I want to accept - badly. W&Q return in early evening after fixing 3 more pitches of A3, anticipating a pendulum on their next effort since the line they're on has become impassable. Ramen & tuna + Korean dehydrated for dinner, &, in anticipation of the upcoming effort, I eat all my GORP with the exception of that I set aside for LFT. I stand before the spires as I brush teeth & pee in preparation for sleep, realizing that this cirque has completely humbled me. My aspirations & limited physical ability are no match for LFT. Defeated. Weakened. But willing, nonetheless, to make another effort. I nearly beg the spire to let me up ...
July 31:
It rained last night & I awake to temperamental skies: dark clouds around the cirque, clear over the mighty Proboscis, & LFT absolutely socked in. Even W&Q remained in bed this morning, though they need just 1 of the next 3 days (2, excluding today) to be decent for their last hard push for the Wet Zig Zags FA (my name, referring to wet rolling papers in camp & the wet main feature of their line). I'm disappointed that I can't muster strength or tenacity, of course, though not depressed. I thought I was, at best, marginally capable of this combined adventure & it's no surprise that the margin was just on the wrong side. It's certainly not the 1st time my abilities & will did not match my ambition (failing to qualify for Kona Ironman being just one example). Effort is important to me, too, so I am reconciled to being happy with that, & being in the wild, remote, rugged, vast beauty of this place, & sharing it all with wonderful Giovanni! More perspective on & from this failure will come with contemplation. Wes & Giovanni work to convince me that we can try again tomorrow - that I should eat as much as I need & stop worrying about hiking out gear if it doesn't make the Aug 2 Korean helicopter down to the lake. I sleep more, up late to find they've made a huge dinner & obviously left their 2nd portion in the pot for me to eat. Janelle & Mark Smiley arrive - they're 30 climbs into a 5.10 sponsored effort to climb the 50 Classics (http://smileysproject.com/Committed__Fifty_Classic_Climbs_of_North_America/Committed.html)! Cool couple running a nordic center in Crested Butte, CO. With them (kind of) are Laurel & Andy from Seattle. She's tiny, Asian - wierd seeing someone so unrugged-looking in this forbiddingly hostile setting. But, of course, I don't belong here myself - I'm both unprepared & just plain not tough enough. Maybe tomorrow my perspective will change if I can be sleeping on the bivy ledge tomorrow night.
August 1:
Rain in early morning then more spit & clouds before 9am means Gio is unwilling to go. I do not protest, though I wish I knew I was strong & tough enough to try despite the conditions. But I do not trust myself to aid continuously in wet cracks &, despite the big dinner & 2 oatmeal packet breakfast, I am still weak & unenergetic. I guess I think it wouldn't be prudent but, f%$#! where are my cojones?! Grrf. Portlanders Daryl, Brad, Ryan, & Scott arrive via copter (Ryan's shredded tibia precluding the hike). I feel like a hardened old hand in the Cirque after 14 days but try to be quiet since LFT has so humbled me. We find that James & Julien are climbing in these rough conditions, moving through the bivy ledge by 10am so they must have left camp around 3am & decided to just giv'er! Wow! We watch throughout the day (W&Q are simultaneously pushing their FA attempt on Middle Huey - also WOW!) & they push through multiple dumps of rain & a hard wind in an heroic effort - finally topping out at 10pm (on the headwall for 12 hours!)! I am so excited by their accomplishment & humbled by their achievement. Unbelievable ... I go to bed exhilerated & bereft. I wish I could have rallied that kind of effort & envy their toughness, fortitude, perserverance, & commitment. I will admire 46-year-old James & remember his heart opening onto that 2200 ft spire forever, I know. W&Q return a little dispirited. Rotten rock halted their effort after the pendulum & another 2 pitches of A3. I feel for them & say so but they're quiet.
August 2:
A very pleasant weather day & regret so fills my heart & gut that I won't eat breakfast. Up & out of the tent at 7, I walk to the upper meadows to prostrate myself in front of LFT, trying to register in the core of my being the defeat here & have it meld more comfortably with my other wondrous impressions of the raw beauty, Giovanni's company, W&Q's success, & all the cool, rugged, energetic outdoor people here. I am not quite successful - the disappointment has sunk into my core & is hard to dislodge. Overlay that with the good stuff? Maybe ... in time. Andy & Laurel are moving very slowly up LFT - at the top of pitch 1 at 10am. Hmmm ... W&Q go off to do 4 pitches of a 5.11c on the spire closest to camp & they look fabulous climbing a corner & roof crack. The Koreans had brought a cardboard box of food - potatoes, cabbage, onion, garlic, carrots, flour, peppers, sausages, honey, eggs - to our camp while I was gone & I find a big egg/veggie breakfast awaiting me. Oh my! So happy to have another filling meal. Gio moves all the climbing gear to his haul bag, hoping to get in on the copter shuttle. W&Q go over to FA Han's "Family" just-finished-bolting-but-attempted 5.12- sport route - Wes figuring out all the bold moves but unable to link them despite excellent climbing technique & strength. Everyone watches: Han & his team (packed & waiting for the copter), James, Julien, Andy, Kevin, Mark, & Janelle. All basking in the long stretches of sun. The copter arrives & our heavy bags leave for the cabin - yea! Parting with the super-gracious, generous Koreans - especially Han - is heartfelt. Huge dinner of 2 big bowls of vegetable, rice, sausage soup. Gio & I walk up to again look at the tower in glorious late evening weather. Joy & regret tussle again, though this place is really too wild & beautiful for regret. Portlanders are walking back down after exhausting themselves on pitches 1-3. I question the wisdom of an intended 1-day push tomorrow but -hey! seriously - what do I know? Andy & Laurel return late from "checking out" the pitches to the bivy ledge, which took all day. We call Warren & confirm for noon tomorrow. Into bed late - I'm sleeping on piled tarps since I sent the (deflated) 5lb pad down on the copter.
August 3:
Up at 6am to absolutely the best weather of the trip. Not a cloud. Bright, warm, ... stunning. Andy & Kevin, Mark & Janelle already long gone for their 1-day pushes. Gio is inexplicably late leaving (10am vs. W&Q's 8am departure) but he's able to report that Kevin & Andy were at pitch 13 already! With such a glorious weather day, they seem assured of success & I hope the same for Mark & Janelle. I had seen The Portlanders in camp when I left at 830am so maybe they want the wall to themselves tomorrow? With a light pack, the hike out is easy - no real trouble in the scree, very few mosquitoes out (?), & I stay on the trail easily enough. When I hear a plane near noon I hurry & twist my ankle - ouch! But it's not our plane. Erin & another park employee who helped us with logistics are hiking into the Cirque & glad to put faces with names - even sharing home-baked cookies! We jump in the freezing Glacier Lake & bask in the sun until Warren arrives around 3. The flight is amazing! Spiraling in a deep gorge twice to gain altitude slowly to make our way up & over the vast Bricknell Snowfield, then a continuous display of glaciers, alpine lakes, with multi-hued peaks arraying off to all horizons. Truly wild & beautiful. Wow! We land at Macavoy Lake & are asked if we would mind staying at the lodge til the morning of Aug 5! Sure! Free lodging, endless food, showers, laundry, rest ... Yeah, you betcha! I go immediately to the mess hall for 3 Naniamo bars & a plate of ribs, stuffing, turkey, & pork chops. Dinner is in 1 hour & I'm warmed uo & ready. Shower. Chat with Bernie about working here but Warren says he can't hire me because I'm not Canadian. Dangit, Nonni! Dinner's a big helping of potato salad, burger, 2 bowls of soup, 2 cups of coffee, chocolate-banana bread, & another Naniamo bar ... Being in a civilized environment brings strong Rae-motions to the surface & I ache to see my beautiful wife. Pool & shuffleboard in the lodge along with a few beers. Late to bed after another burger, 2 cookies, Naniamo bar, & 2 snack bars.
August 4:
My stomach was too full to let me sleep so I got maybe 2 hours. Oh well. Laundry. Meditate. Breakfast (burrito, granola, toast, coffee, Nanaimo bar). Emails with Rae - OMG, do I miss her! Reading. Stretch in the sun. Lunch (soup, sandwich, granola, snack bars). Stretch again. Nap in the sun. No plans except dinner.